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[angerberg]

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[monsterfucking]

[Ok so he was mostly kidding about Yennefer of Vengerberg’s fucking tour, but now that the plan is apparently legitimately on the table, he is. Feeling some kind of way about it.

That would mean they could fix him too. But he isn’t sure he wants it the same way that Yennefer seems to.]

Say you are right.
They fix what Aretuza did to you.
Is this still about the choice, or is it the child?

[angerberg]

When Kings wage bloody wars and steal each others' land to ensure that they'll leave their mark on this world, history writes songs about them.
All the power we have, it would be a shame for it to die with us.

[ That's what it's really about. Legacy. Something permanent that suggests Yennefer of Vengerberg was real, was here, was someone more than a disfigured farm girl with four marks.

'Us' makes it sound like she's sizing him up for the job of helping her with it, but really she just knows that he has the same problem she does — even if he doesn't consider it a problem to the same degree. ]

[monsterfucking]

Would it really be that much of a shame?
We have half that power here.

Half is generous.

[angerberg]

Temporary.

[ She offers this with the confidence of a woman who's surer of her ability to regain her magic than her uterus. It bothers her, though. Obviously. It has occurred to her that right now, she's twice barren, and that she'll kill whoever it was stole from her what she had bought with her womb.

Later.

After she has made use of this place. And it will be effortless, by comparison. She really believes that. ]

[monsterfucking]

Doubtful, if what these Displaced say is true.

[angerberg]

Why would I take their word?
Months they've been here, and despite their abilities they've managed to gain little or no power in this world.
Don't let small minds discourage you.

[monsterfucking]

It's not a matter of being discouraged.
I don't want the same things as you.

What will power do for you, in this world?
Do you plan to build a life here?

[angerberg]

Here, there. What's the difference?
My only family hated me even before they were long dead.

[ She'd left the company of the other sorceresses years ago. Seeking Geralt's had been a mistake. There's no one else she loves. ]

[monsterfucking]

So you've said.

[He...really does not want to have to be on Yennefer babysitting duty the whole time he is here. He'd rather her just calm thee a little.]

I'm done trying to stop you, Yen.
I just don't want you to make choices you'll regret, and can't take back.
Especially if you have the chance to start over.

[angerberg]

All I want is to have a choice.
You know what that feels like. I know you do.

[monsterfucking]

[That isn't it, or she would have said so when he asked her. But pressing on this is only going to drive them further apart.

He doesn't want that. Not when she's the only familiar thing he has here, among other reasons.]

Maybe.
I don't like ultimatums.

[angerberg]

You like giving them.

[ He won't want her as long as she pursues what she wants. He's made it obvious a number of ways. ]

[monsterfucking]

I didn't give you an ultimatum.
I only told you that I didn't want the same things as you.

You might think yourself suited to children.
But I am not.

[angerberg]

You are as they made you.
But you have the power to make yourself something else.

[monsterfucking]

Feels like something I should be happier about.

[But that's just it, isn't it? "Happy" doesn't come easily. Neither does any other emotion. That wasn't just a product of the magic used to make him.

That was the consequence of the years he had needed to put into the profession.]

Some things can't be undone.

[angerberg]

More assumed truths gathered from small minds.
I'd rather be sure.

[ she can't be content giving anything up. ]

[monsterfucking]

Thanks.

[He's only a little offended at the implication. Truth is, its hard to be all that offended, especially when the insult comes from Yennefer, who delights in insulting and talking down to everyone who talks to her.]

[angerberg]

You're accepting what people have told you about what you are instead of deciding what you want for yourself. Then you disparage me for resisting the same.

[ Sounds like weak shit, Geralt. ]

I've wanted a great many things in my life. I've wanted my name known the Continent wide. I've wanted power. Now I want something that will outlive me. Something that matters. I don't intend to let anything keep me from that.

But you, Geralt. You seem afraid to want anything at all.

[ Except her. ]

[monsterfucking]

I wouldn't use the word "afraid".

[That would imply he has strong feelings about wanting things. And before recently--

No. No, that's not quite right, even he can't convince himself of that. The effort of doing so makes him sigh on the other end of the digital connection between them.]

You're right.
Aside from that.

[angerberg]

How long has it been since you wanted anything? Have you really forgotten what it feels like?

[monsterfucking]

Not that long.

[But he takes her meaning, so he tries to be honest anyway.]

You have more ambition than I do.
I don't have the patience for the affairs of kingdoms and their monarchs.
And there's nothing about me that I want to stay around once I'm gone.

[angerberg]

And nothing of me either.

[ or he wouldn't discourage her this way, wouldn't try to take this from her when she's already given so much else to this godforsaken world. ]

[monsterfucking]

My caution has nothing to do with that.

[Maybe she's right. Maybe it would be better here, where she isn't a Sorceress, where there's nothing like Aretuza to whisk her child away from her. He still doesn't think she'd be a particularly good mother but -- well, was there ever such a thing?

He certainly wasn't an authority. But they both know what shitty parents look like.]

[angerberg]

Of course not.
Your caution is about me.

[ he hasn't reexamined his insults, it seems. just as well. it will be easier if he gives her no reason to reconsider her resentment. ]

[monsterfucking]

[Well...yeah. Look, be less of a narcissist and he won't have to call you out ok.]

If I had lied to you about what I thought, would that have been better?

[If she takes in nothing else, he hopes she'll at least take that from him. And even though Yennefer doesn't necessarily deserve this from him, he is not overtly cruel, and he can sense he's hurt her feelings.

So:]

I understand better now.
And I'm sorry.